A Commonplace Book

Fashion is that horrid little man with an evil eye who tells you that your last winter's coat may be in perfect physical condition, but you can't wear it. You can't wear it because it has a belt and this year "we are not showing belts."

Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.

"Everyone's wearing that style," they said. That did it. As soon as I heard that I didn't want the thing. So when Mrs. Mamalujian said, "Is there anything you want?" I thought, Yes, what no one else has, what no one else wants or can even imagine. People with money bought things to be like everyone else. If I had money, I thought, I would try to be as different as possible.

clothes are necessary.
Oh bulky barrier between soul & soul,
soul & self-
how it comforts us
to take you down!
How it heartens us to strip you off!

& this is no matter of fashion.

Basic Guy Fashion Rule: If, when you appear at the breakfast table, your wife laughs so hard that she spits out her toast, you should consider wearing a different tie.

A few words on trousers. When I hit my teens, no ensemble was complete without bell-bottomed jeans that covered your shoes and dusted the floor as you walked. I can only imagine how ridiculous they looked to my elders. My daughter's guy-friends wear jeans so baggy it looks like they're wearing denim ball gowns. How can my poor kid look at boys and possibly be attracted? Then it occurred to me that she can, but I can't. Fashion is not just to attract but also to repel. Grown-ups should not look at teens sexually. Their clothes should be silly to us and a secret code among themselves. It's probably some biological instinct to ensure survival of our species.

"I believe my life has value, and I don't want to waste it thinking about clothing," Malcolm said. "I don't want to think about what I will wear in the morning. Truly, can you imagine anything more boring than fashion? Professional sports, perhaps. Grown men swatting little balls, while the rests of the world pays money to applaud. But, on the whole, I find fashion even more tedious than sports."