He's got a car bomb. He puts the key in the ignition and turns it--the
car blows up. He gets out. He opens the hood and makes a cursory
inspection. He closes the hood and gets back in. He turns the key in
the ignition. The car blows up. He gets out and slams the door shut
disgustedly. He kicks the tire. He takes off his jacket and shimmies
under the chassis. He pokes around. He slides back out and wipes the
grease off his shirt. He puts his jacket back on. He gets in. He turns
the key in the ignition. The car blows up, sending debris into the air
and shattering windows for blocks. He gets out and says, Damn it! He
calls a tow truck. He gives them his AAA membership number. They tow
the car to an Exxon station. The mechanic gets in and turns the key in
the ignition. The car explodes, demolishing the gas pumps, the
red-and-blue Exxon logo high atop its pole bursting like a balloon on
a string. The mechanic steps out. You got a car bomb, he says. The man
rolls his eyes. I know that, he says.
-- Mark Leyner "the suggestiveness of one stray hair in an otherwise perfect coiffure"